Friends / inspiration / Life / Love / Self-Love

More into myself than he ever was.

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave…”

This movie came out when I was 19. I was always all about my friends, I was too busy having fun with them to care about guys. Eventually, I grew up and started dating. Having my fair share of disappointment, false hope, and bullshit… the kind that could only come from heart break.

7 years later, and this quote couldn’t hold more true. They say you never forget your first love. I on the other hand, don’t forget anybody. Which I have grown to learn is both a blessing and a curse. Every ass hole I’ve ever dated has made an impact on me. I have somehow managed to remain friends with nearly all of them. Most of them come back around a few years later confessing their love to me and how letting me get away was the worst mistake they ever made. Well, fucking duh.

I went through my worst break up last year. Started out the new year with the worst heart break and biggest disappointment I could have never even imagined. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t function, I was lost, I felt like I had nothing left.

But you know what I did have? My amazing friends and my incredible job. My friends were there at all hours of the day and night just a phone call away. I owe them everything.

“..And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on…”

I had always wanted to just move somewhere new for an adventure, so I did just that. I packed up my entire life and drove across the country with my best friend and started my life over in Vegas. I moved to the one city I could never see myself actually dating anybody in because.. why would I want to?

“..Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. “

Let me tell you one thing I won’t be doing, waiting around for that third act twist.

So, here I am in Vegas on a new adventure in a new city I now call home with my best friend and my cat doing just that. Pieces picked up, me on my own [single, because my friends.. duh], starting over, and freeing myself for something better. Moving on.. and not giving up hope.

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