If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends.
My friends have and always will be the most important part of my life.
There are a lot of things I look for in a partner [don’t ever settle!] but one absolute non-negotiable for me is he has to like and include my friends. Period. Realistically, things will end for one reason or another with said partner and who is going to be there to pick up all of the pieces? Das right – my friends.
Work has also always been a priority for me which only leaves me certain windows of time to play, which I use to their full potential.
Now, I am all about “just us” time whether it be date night with my boo thang or a girls night, I think it is very important to separate the two. Sometimes you just want a girls night and sometimes you just wanna snuggle on the couch with the object of your affection and both of those are totally okay! You deserve to have a girls night, which also means he deserves to have nights out with his boys. Leave him alone. Don’t text him 873 times. There’s a 90% chance that he’ll probably just end up texting you wasted at the end of the night and want to see you anyway because he misses you. If he doesn’t, whatever. If you can’t trust the person you’re seeing [regardless of which “level” you’re at or how serious it is] then you should probably reassess the sitch. There’s a difference between texting him just for a little thing than texting him because you’re a lowkey psycho bitch and want to make sure he knows you exist. Don’t worry, we’ve all done the latter. Hi, I’m totally guilty.
Group activities are important. If my friends aren’t seeing anybody, I never want them to feel left out. Same goes if I’m riding solo (Hi Jason Deruolo). Sometimes the third wheel is the best wheel! You have to be on my friends good side, who else is going to help you pick out cat mugs for me or know that my favorite flowers are peonies?
I am overprotective of my friends, I treat them better than any man (or woman) ever will so – get over it. You better like me and you better be nice to them because my approval matters more than you think. I have the highest of standards for who they “should date” as they do for me.
While it’s important to have your own time, to me – it’s imperative that he also likes my friends. Now, they don’t need to be BFF [that makes for a whole other set of potential “issues”] but anybody I am involved with has to like my friends, and vice versa. If we’re at my place watching a movie, my roommate might be home too. She lives there, she should never feel unwelcomed. If I have a friends weekend planned where there is going to be a bunch of people there, I am going to want him to come and be accepted with open arms. I tend to do this a little early on but I’m not going to waste my time getting to know somebody and falling for them further if he doesn’t like my friends. I once dated a guy and all he did was talk shit about my friends and whaddya know? He ended up being a fuckboy and still tries to get back with me to this day.. it’s been 3 years, bye.
So, to anybody out there in this awful dating culture- remember.. if you wannabe their lover, you gotta get with their friends.